A Portly Man and a Bag of Poop

I'm 41 years old and it has come increasingly to my attention that my body is committing a terrible treason: it is getting bigger. I notice it most when I look down and can no longer tell if my shoes are tied. It doesn't help that I spend most of my days strapped to a desk in college, struggling to stay awake while the professors drone on and on about something that most mere mortals neither care about nor comprehend. So I decided to fight back against my body. I will never regain the svelte, tight body I possessed when I was twenty (ah, to be able to sit down without popping and cracking. THOSE were the days!), but I am determined to lose some weight and try to set an example of health for my family. No easy task.
I awoke this morning filled with determination. My boys were excited and promised to accompany me on their bikes and scooters (lucky them). I grabbed the dog, a two year old Golden named Sam, hooked him to his leash, and headed out the door. Now, in my mind, I'm still that 23 year old soldier who could run 4 miles at the drop of a hat and still lead soldiers in training later that day. My body, however, isn't cooperating with my mind. My first shock came with my first step: I moved forward and my body didn't. Instead it trembled and, like a train wreck in slow motion, wiggled and jiggled toward me until it finally caught up. This is going to be a LONG road.
Sam the dog patiently loped along-side me, sniffing and trotting, until he abruptly stopped, nearly pulling my arm out of my socket.
"Sam, come on." I urged
He looked up at me imploringly, his large brown eyes seeking to communicate across the great divide between man and beast.
"Sam, what?" I tugged on him.
He didn't budge.
I was growing impatient. For the first time in longer than I'd care to remember I was motivated to do some physical activity and I'm going to be stopped by my dog? Oh, I don't think so! I tugged harder. The kids circled us on their bikes like vultures over a kill, highly amused at the scene unfolding before them.
"Sam . . ."
Suddenly he assumed the position, that sacred stance that was the universal sign that nature was calling and this wasn't going to be a simple pit stop. But aha! I was ready for this. A soldier is always prepared, right? One of the great joys of being a father of three sons is that I don't have to do all of the dirty work any more. I promptly called my 12 year old who dutifully whipped out a plastic bag from Walmart. We would take care of this in short order!
My son parked his bike on the gentle incline next to us and stooped down when, terror! his bike began to fall. I watched the scene as if in slow motion. The bike leaned closer and closer to the earth and, of course, towards the HUGE mound of dog refuse warmly and recently deposited by Sam. I reached out but Oh! too late. My son darted backward in the nick of time as his lovely, sparkly-clean handle-bars planted themselves deeply in the steaming pile.
The other kids stopped their circling. The wind died down. Birds ceased their singing. Clouds stopped their gentle trek across the sky. We all stared at the splattered mess that lay before us. Well, everyone except Sam of course who stood panting and smiling blissfully unaware of how he had just hijacked my morning run. He looked up at me happily, no doubt feeling better now that he was a couple of kilograms lighter.
"EWWWWWWWWW!" My 11 year old broke the silence. The world began moving again.
We turned around and headed home to clean a bike. My lovely wife was on the front porch, more to see if I had survived my run than to wait for the kids and was surprised at our quick return.
My first jog lasted 3:43 seconds. I'll try again Monday morning. I'm so NOT taking the poopy dog. He can stay home and stare at me through the front window. I will never go jogging with him again!

Well, maybe . . . .

Thanksgiving and November . . .

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone, hardly seems possible. Vickie, my lovely wife, who is currently in school learning how to become a pastry chef, treated us to homemade biscuits with homemade butter in addition to the large traditional meal. Needless to say, it was wonderful, nay, miraculous, a little bit of heaven on earth. She will be a very, very, very good chef!

The kids are doing well, thank God. Amazingly Joseph is now as tall (and will no doubt soon exceed) Hannah in height. Joe is only twelve, going on 35, and will be a very tall young man. It is with not a little pride that I acknowledge that all of my children will likely be taller than both mom and me, not a remarkable achievement considering our own diminutive stature!

School continues to be a challenge for me, my only current consolation being that the semester ends in three weeks! Joy! Although, this means, too, that finals are rapidly approaching. More time for stress and study! I know that the end goal is certainly going to be worth all of this effort, time, and money. Until then, I plod on, class-by-class . . .

We have begun a new outreach, a medical mission focused on helping the local downtrodden and disadvantaged. The ministry is called Rapha (the Hebrew word for "healing" or "mending"). We conducted our first outreach in October. As seen in the attached photo, it was a lot of fun and we saw 31 people. The young man sitting at the table with me is Aaron, who is currently training to become Medical Assistant. I think he'll make a good one. This all is a humble start, but exciting nonetheless. Our next outreach is tomorrow. Looking forward to it!

God bless you! Keep the faith!

Yom Kippur - The Day of Atonement

So, it's been a long time since my last blog post. I have no excuse to offer. Having said that, school has become nearly all consuming, with upper-level science classes taking most of my time.

Vickie and I are launching a medical missionary outreach to the local indigent population, offering free health screenings and literature about healthy living while giving each person an opportunity to receive prayer and the Gospel of Y'shua (Jesus). We are really excited about this ministry and how God will use it according to His will. It's called "Rapha", Hebrew for "healing". We appreciate prayer for this budding ministry!

Tonight, at sundown, marks the beginning of the sacred Jewish Holiday of Yom Kippur or The Day of Atonement. It was only on this day that the High Priest was allowed to enter the Most Holy Place in the Temple of God in ancient Jerusalem and stand before the Ark of the Covenant to offer a sacrifice atoning first for his sins and the sins of his family, then for all of the House of Israel. Today, this sacred time is often marked with fasting and prayer. I love this holiday, as it forever reminds me of the sacrifice of Y'shua, shedding His blood so that my sins and the sins of my people might be forgiven and, through His sacrifice, we all may have access to the Most Holy Place of God's Presence. A miracle!

God bless and minister to you all, dear readers. I'm back on my blog and, with God's help, will be more faithful in communicating! Time will tell.

Meanwhile, keep the faith!

Yes, we are still alive . . .

It is nearly impossible to believe that I haven't blogged since January, here it being the sunset of April but, alas, it is true. It is not possible to bring you up to date on all of the events that have happened. Suffice it to say that the Spring semester is nearly over here and, like my fellow students, I am very glad that this is the case! My relief will be short lived, however, as I have to take two chemistry classes during the summer. It's ok, really. I love me some chemistry!

The family and I had quite a scare here this past Friday as a tornado touched down about half a mile from our little home. Seven people and a very large dog were huddled in a very small closet for about 30 minutes while we heard the sirens going off outside. It was with incredible earnestness that we prayed for God's protection for us and the rest of the people in our town. Thankfully, no one died here, a true answer to our prayers, though as a community we did sustain some significant damage. We all have a greater appreciation for God and the incredible grace with which He grants us life every day.

Benjamin, our ten year old, now wants to become a meteorologist!

School finals are in three weeks. I appreciate prayers for the success of all of us students as we struggle with tests and deadlines!

I'll (do better to) keep you posted...

Update on Hannah

We visited Hannah's doctor here in Oklahoma and things are not going as well as we had hoped. Her seizures are returning both in frequency and intensity. Her current dosage of anti-seizure medication is quite large and, hence, our options for treatment are becoming increasingly limited. The doctor said we could try her out on another drug (the odds of this helping her at about 5%), we could implant a device into her chest and brain called a VNS (those odds are at 5%-15%), we could do another surgery (don't even want to think about that one), or we can alter her diet (45%-65%). So next month she has to go in to get evaluated for being put on a special medical diet that, according to some doctors at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, may help reduce her incident of seizures.

We continue to appreciate your prayers as we walk this road with Hannah. God bless and minister to you all!

I'll keep you posted.

The End and the Beginning

As I type this I am sitting in my backyard, surrounded by towering evergreens and feeling the faintest whisper of wind. It's the end of December and it's almost 70 degrees out here in central Oklahoma. Odd, to say the least, but a beautiful day nonetheless and one we welcome before the stranglehold of winter comes to take it away.

So much has happened in the month or so since I've last shared with you. Hannah, despite her surgery this past summer, has had an increasing number of seizures and is having trouble remembering things again. It's disturbing and our options for future treatment are dwindling. Do we repeat the surgery? Do we increase her medications? It's rather like shooting in the dark at this point. She has a follow up appointment with her local neurologist in January. Hopefully we'll know more by then.

My foot, on which I had surgery in October, is nearly healed, thank God. Benjamin, too, with his broken arm is nearly fully recovered. Both of us are enjoying our increased mobility and activity. I'm hoping to begin running again in January.

Vickie is plugging away patiently at her job at Walmart. It kills me to see her going off to work. For over 15 years I was the sole provider of our little family and, God forgive me, it was a source of pride for me knowing that Vickie could stay home with the kids. Now that I'm in school full-time, she has been obligated to take this mantle, one which she wears effectively. We both know it is but for a short time. As soon as I graduate medical school and get into a residency I will be making enough money for us to survive. Until then she plods to work every day, faithfully doing what she can. Neither I nor the kids deserve her, a fact of which I am reminded every day.

It's a strange dynamic that is evolving with our internet ministry. For seven years I was a Messianic Rabbi, serving congregations in Texas and Pennsylvania. Now I am simply myself again and finding this adjustment more challenging than I originally thought. It took me a long time and a lot of study to become a rabbi, and to lose it so quickly makes me ask myself, "what was the point"? I am grateful for what God did during those many years but now those years are over. I've noticed that people treat me differently. Even some of my colleagues in the ministry seem to have moved on. The sense of isolation increases. My goal for the internet ministry is that it would be a source of balanced Messianic Jewish teaching and, after I graduate school, a vehicle through which I report my work as a medical missionary, for this is my heart. My hope is that, through the ministry of medicine and health to people, they would open themselves up to the ministry of Y'shua (Jesus) for I will be doing both simultaneously. It's been my experience that people will truly know that they are loved when they see a practical application of that love. Medical missionary work is perfect for showing this kind of love for truly it's how Y'shua conducted His ministry!

So, as we approach this new year of 2012, there is much reason for hope and many opportunities to learn from 2011. The more things have changed for us the more we see God's constant love and faithfulness. He has been so good to us and has provided, and continues to provide, when all other avenues have vanished. In the past five months that we have been in Oklahoma, for example, He has provided us with a place to live, a job for Vickie, money to put food on the table and pay for utilities. He has safely settled us in a land where we have no family and has helped us survive, giving us the sweet fellowship of believers both near and far. God is good, and we taste of His goodness every day.

I pray that God demonstrates His faithfulness to you, dear reader, in the coming year and that, when December 2012 rolls around, you will be able to testify of His abounding faithfulness.

God bless you and protect you!

I'll keep you posted.

What a month . . .

I can hardly believe it's been a little more than a month since my last post on this blog! So much has happened in that small collection of days!

Benjamin, my nine year old son, was playing outside with his friends a couple of weeks ago and, inspired by some terrible muse at which I can only guess, decided that it would be fun to roll down our inclined driveway on a small plastic truck. Predictably, Ben fell off of the truck and landed on his right arm, said arm promptly snapping in two near the shoulder. Many emergency room hours later, we discovered that the bone had not only snapped, but that it had snapped so easily because of a bone tumor called a unicarmal bone cyst (UBC). Apparently these cysts, which occur mostly in children, significantly weaken the affected bones. Ben could have more of these in different places in his body. The treatment? Wait until he is 20 years old at which point natural strong bone will fill the cysts and he should be fine. Until then, for the next 11 years, he should "exercise caution" in his activity so as to not break another bone. Thankfully his arm is currently healing well and this young boy is proudly sporting his fiberglass cast as a well-earned badge of honor.

Vickie, my lovely wife, is working diligently at her part-time job at Walmart. She is grateful for the work, but is often little more than a glorified housekeeper. It is the prayer of both of us that she will be able to find different work that will utilize her many skills and pay more. We appreciate prayer about this!

I should find out next week if I have been accepted to the local university. I've already begun to integrate myself into the pre-med club here, an interesting experience. The folks at the club seem sincere if not a bit zealous. Most of them are young enough to be my son or daughter! At my first meeting I sat next to a kind young man who looked like he was 14 years old. It is going to be a bit of generational culture shock to submerge myself into this world, but it is a challenge I embrace and for which I am grateful.

Finally, our online teaching ministry is getting organized. Our website, www.scroll2soul.com, is looking better and, beginning the first Sabbath (Saturday) in December, we will begin live Bible study broadcasts via the website. Vickie and I both are looking forward to it.

As I type this, I'm waiting to see the podiatrist, following up on my ankle surgery a month ago. I better sign off for now. Thank you for reading!

I'll keep you posted.